There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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