dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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