Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
there is glitter all over my balls
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize