The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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