just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
