I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize