He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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