Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
