she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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