my sisters under your porch take her home
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
