do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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