I think i peed on brittanys purse
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My dick has a subreddit
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
