Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
