Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
