Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
