I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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