im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
