She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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