I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
