508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Randomize
