he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
