I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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