when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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