So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize