Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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