You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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