i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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