just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
