Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
