I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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