She is in my trunk
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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