Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize