Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
