High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize