Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
