I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
