I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
