Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My balls are so social today.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
