my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
