Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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