Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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