oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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