haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
