hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
