there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
