where am i from again
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
