Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
