Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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