You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
