i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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