my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
