He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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