Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
