Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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