I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
