i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
