We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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