It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
