508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
