don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize