he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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